Molly’s At 50. Molly’s At 50?

Lord, I hate lists. I hate ranking. I know we live in a capitalist society and it is inevitable that things get placed in order from “best” to “not quite the best.” I understand the point of recognizing a group for their achievements but, once ranks enter the picture the whole thing because snarky. You’re asking for trouble. Number 18 is fine until someone looks at number 17 and says, “Oh Jesus, we placed behind them?”

A good way to avoid this is to make a list and write across the top, “In No Particular Order.” That way, all the listees are celebrated and united, not divided.

If you were British, you may ask yourself, “What’s he on about?” And I would then point you to this:

Gambit Weekly’s Top 50 Bars

And the reason I’m all upset is that my personal favorite bar in New Orleans (and perhaps the whole damn World) was noticeably absent from the top 5, then I saw it wasn’t among the first quarter of the bars listed, then I got on through the back half of the article and still did not see it. I had to go through 49/50ths of the list before I found it…

50. Molly’s at the Market
1107 Decatur St., 525-5169

At first glance, Molly’s looks like a prototypical Irish tavern, with its worn wooden tables, tall bar stools and requisite 30-plus years of memorabilia decorating the walls. But owner Jim Monagahan Jr. has turned this Decatur Street stalwart into a destination location for revelers of all types during Halloween, Mardi Gras and, of course, St. Patrick’s Day, as well as a late-night rendezvous for hipsters and their ilk after catching a show downtown.

There she was in some sort of statement-making rank at 50. One might say fiftieth best bar in New Orleans. One might say dead last among New Orleans’ best bars.

There once was a time when I wasn’t some crazy/free thinking, partially self-employed blogger and folk artist living in a local neighborhood that used to be called “Slaughterhouse Point.” Back in the early-to-mid ’90s, picture me as a bewildered visitor of New Orleans, her out-of-town boyfriend. I hailed from a place Rolling Stone once called “The most conservative city in America.” People from New Orleans call it beautiful, I called it Hell, most know it as Pensacola.

My friends and I would roll into New Orleans in Japanese two-door cars and head straight for Bourbon street where our fake IDs were useless because no one ever asked for them. We stayed four and five deep in a little motel off Tulane called the Rose Inn and it usually cost us around $30.

It didn’t take us long to discover that there was more fun happening at the end of Bourbon Street than at its front and then as a few years went by and we became more of age we ended up abandoning that part of the Quarter all-together. What drew us away from Bourbon street was refinement and Molly’s at the Market.

The bar introduced us to Lower Decatur which in turn was a corridor into the Marigny and Bywater and all the treasures within them. Many nights we would traipse back and forth between those neighborhoods, in and out of music clubs along the way.

I became so enraptured with New Orleans, we decided to move in together. I escaped Pensacola in ’97 and moved into a place Uptown. Though there were plenty of bars with people my age around my General Pershing St. apartment but I insisted on riding the streetcar to Canal St. and walking the dozen or so French Quarter blocks to Molly’s and Lower Decatur.

When I moved to California, it was my first stop when I visited. It was the first place I brought friends and my future wife.

Sure, when I moved back and lived on Bayou St. John I could be seen at Pals Lounge (#42 on Gambit’s list). Yes, I have since moved over to the Point and can sometimes be found having a Boddingtons at the Crown and Anchor (not on the list), but Molly’s will always be held in higher regard.

This is just my story though. It has nothing to do with the staff at Gambit who made the list. It shouldn’t matter to them what some guy over in the Fourth District has tucked away in his synapses as it relates to a bar. So, I do have some points to make about Molly’s and its low placement on the list.

– Does The Bulldog (#26) have the ashes of two (nee’ three) people behind the bar? Or a coffin?
– Does the Polo Club (#19) have CDs on their jukebox that have been there for (at least) a decade?
– Did Pravda (#17) stay open throughout the second battle of New Orleans?
– Does French 75 (#10) have a cat mascot who has his own MySpace page?
– Is Cooter Brown’s (#5) a testament to both the fine craftsmanship of local wood sign makers / failed French Quarter businesses?

The (mostly) sweet bartenders, the black bathrooms, the free shot of Pepto Bismol 😉 on the bathroom sink, the numerous law enforcement badges, the glorious fruit of eavesdropping, the heckling of Margaritavillians, the great spots to lock your bike, the poetic alliteration of its name, the-several-times-an-hour playing of “Lust For Life” on the jukebox – it’s all part of Molly’s own lust for life.

I could go on and on.

Molly’s if I had a list (and as I stated up front, I don’t) you’d be number 1.

And Gambit, Jim Monoghan isn’t nice to me either.

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That said, the Gambit’s list is still pretty darn good and many of my favorites included on it. Such as…

Mimi’s (#1) – The few visits of mine were filled with glee. GLEE!

Napoleon House (#2) – Drinking there, I do not feel as though I am among ghosts, I feel I AM a ghost.

D.B.A. (#6) – Don’t just drink one type of beer and make sure you catch a show, the sound in there is as soulful as the tongue-and-groove it reverberates from. For a good example of this, catch John Boutte on Saturdays.

Rivershack Tavern (#8) – Over the River and up the levee from my place but worth the trip.

Old Point Bar (#11) – I’m a homer for this spot obviously. A superb music venue with a huge bar and it’s right up on the river. The fiancee and I like to go there on Sunday afternoons and sit serenely by the levee drinking cold ones. Late at night you can see the hook-ups happen before your very eyes.

Carousal Bar (#13) – My mom’s favorite bar. I must admit, it is fun when you can get a bar seat. Otherwise, keep walking.

Circle Bar (#22) – What’s it like to be hip but also unpretentious? Go to the Circle Bar and find out (at least the times I went). My kind of folks here.

Saturn Bar (#23) – I haven’t been since it was cleaned up but my friends say it’s still good. But oh man, back in the day there was really nothing like it. I have pals to this day that talk about it in very sensorial tones.

Markey’s (#28) – Great spot with strong drinks, cold, cold beer and (last time I was there) free pool.

Pal’s Lounge (#42) – See remarks above but also it’s a great place to snap photos of your friends. The art and wallpaper make it look like a true New Orleans haunt. Nice folks a great little bar game and good company. I’ll always love my Pals.

Carollton Station (#47) – Home of Romy Kaye some Saturdays! Beware of the Frat House across the street though. Meatheads and Girls Gone Wild everywhere! They’ll eat your brain!

Mayfair (#48) – Cozy atmosphere and chilled ambiance. I must say though, I have only been once but I still remember a man in there with a pink Polo shirt on with white, pleated shorts. It was as if he was playing a preppy for Halloween. Except it wasn’t close to any sort of holiday. If someone can let me know if this man and his crowd often frequent this place that would be awesome.

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Below are bars on the list that would be great but are suffering from severe cases of Collera. That is an infestation that leaves the place crawling with loud, vapid, obnoxious, barely dressed girls and the drunk boys trying to screw them. They must be smart because they are seeking higher education but no form of the intelligence shows through. See the quarantine list below…

– The Columns (#15)
– St. Joes (#21)
– The Saint (#39)

It is said that in the summer months the infestation is less severe.

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Noticeably absent from the list…

The Spotted Cat
The Crown and Anchor
Tony Seville’s Pirates’ Alley Cafe
Sugar Park Tavern
Avenue Pub