Archive for the NOMOs Category

I was at N. Rampart and St. Bernard intersection yesterday and was trying to snap a photo of a billboard by this local attorney that strangely features a photo of him looking rather disheveled. This post was originally going to have that photo and some text inquiring as to why a legal professional would put such a dreary photo on their billboard. The guy’s tie is loose and he resembles Al Bundy. It’s not a flattering photo yet, he paid good money to have it displayed to everyone who drives down St. Claude.

But as I pulled onto St. Bernard to take the photo, I noticed an NOPD cruiser blocking the way. I looked down the street and saw some boom mikes and a few equipment trucks and folks milling about with all sorts of gear. Obviously a movie or television shoot.

Then a truck with two fellas inside pulled up and tried to go down the street but the cop stopped them.

“What’s going on down there?” the passenger asked.

“Shooting,” the cop responded.

“Who got shot?” The passenger said.

Only in New Orleans.

I just stepped out onto my porch in a bathrobe and said hi to a man walking down the street. He asked me how I was doing and I asked him how he was doing and we got to talking.

He said he was an electrical engineer and he left New Orleans in 1980 and came back recently to see that the city was caught in a time warp.

He then asked me if I knew any geologists because he wanted to talk to them. He said he had an idea for submersible habitats, each the size of the Superdome to be placed in different areas around the region. I am assuming they would be mixed-use most of the time and shelters during storms. He said he wanted to call them “Noah’s Arks.”

My dog Doris was freaking out on him a little bit so we parted ways.

I have a lot of questions about the plausibility of his vision. It sounds far fetched. Then again, the Panama Canal is far fetched. I don’t really want to think about its plausibility really. But the point is this: Why does a man on the morning street have a plan when so many others don’t?


I was just across the street helping a neighbor install a light and several NOPD cruisers rolled up on my house and got out with shotguns and rifles drawn. Two ran up to the door and one around back. My fiance was in the house and had no idea what was going on. I started hollering at them and saying I was the owner and asking what was going on. They asked me how long I lived there and when I said two years they relaxed and asked if I ever saw the former occupants around. I said no and they said if I did, to call them as soon as possible. Apparently he is wanted on some serious charges like rape and kidnapping.

I’d love to keep an eye out for him but I don’t know what he looks like. The officers didn’t have a photo.

I know he tried to screw Fema out of some money too.

This is the second time they have been by looking for him.


I was coming home from dinner last night and I had just turned the corner at Whitney and Burmaster when a car zoomed past me at around 100 mph, missed me by a foot or so. I hadn’t finished thinking to myself, “What an asshole” when an NOPD cruiser sped past in chase.

Inspired, I followed the two as they sped through stop signs at Mardi Gras Blvd. and Newton and Whitney. I knew the road dead-ended at the levee on Patterson. However, I gather that the fella who was leading the chase did NOT know that. By the time I reached the levee, the car that almost hit me had skidded over the curb and into the levee with its tires shredded and the airbags deployed and the music blaring. The cop was pulled over and the door to the crashed car was open but no one was around save an older woman who came out of her house when she heard the racket.

“Did you see it?” I asked.
“No,” she responded.
“The cop was chasing him up the road. Where is the he?” I asked.
“I guess he’s chasing the guy,” she said.

Around that time I heard some yelling. I looked over behind me to see a little short cop pushing a tall guy in handcuffs over to the cop car. There were lots of “You are driving a stolen car..” and some motherfuckers and some other stuff. Then the cop wailed on the guy’s ribs a few times. Another cop came out from where they were coming from and a few seconds later some more cruisers showed up.

The lady went back inside and I took it all as my cue to leave as well.

Never a dull moment in Care Forgot.