Archive for September, 2009

In the department of “bad habits left over from my childhood in Pensacola,” I am aware of the use of “gay” and “retarded” to describe things as being lame or stupid. In my marginally more enlightened adulthood I am aware of the use of these terms as derogatory even though there are many straight people who are lame and many gay people who are hip and many developmentally able-bodied people who are stupid and many disabled people who are brilliant.

That said, my Gaydar goes off the chart when watching this…

Tom Delay Dancing With The Stars VIDEO: Dances The Cha Cha With Cheryl Burke

NFL linebacker Danny Clark on the 100,000 people who opened the new Cowboy stadium on Monday compared to the Saints’ reopening the Superdome in 2006…

“I played in New Orleans when we reopened the [Super]Dome in 2006 after Hurricane Katrina.

“That place was twice as loud as this new stadium.”

For the record we only had 70,000 in attendance that night.

Full story: Jerry Jones might be in hot water with visiting teams

How did I miss this in ’06? Must have been all that “working in a hotel after the flood” stuff. Anyway, Where yat this go ’round Kim?

Crazy NOLA mayoral candidate doctors Disneyland photo – again

A bizarre NOLA mayoral candidate has been caught doctoring photos of herself standing in Disneyland. For the second time.

Kimberly Williamson Butler is the crazy New Orleans mayoral candidate who got busted for using a campaign photo of herself standing in what appeared to be the French Quarter, but which was revealed to be the New Orleans Square at Disneyland. The telltale was that the Disneyland trash-can was visible in the picture.

So Butler’s campaign has “fixed” the photo — they took out the trashcan, after getting threats from Disney’s lawyers.

It was a glorious night for local access. First there was the gets-better-every-time-I-watch it WYES show “Stay Tuned.” My favorites are the Mike Nichols Jax beer commercials and the talking freezer and K&B. Actually the freezer one os only funny because one mulleted guy looks like he fired up a spliff. got the munchies and went to K&B to get ice cream. The the freezer started talking to him and the only thing he could say is, “This thing is weird!” The whole damn show is fantastic.

Then it was “Steppin’ Out” and it took me a sec to realize that the Al Shea who passed away recently was the guy who gave clap ratings on SO. I’m devastated. He was the best part of the show. Now we are going to be stuck with Peggy Scott’s little noises and coo’s and “oh”s and “ah”s. We loved ya Al!

Tonight’s SO guest was Clint Maedgen and the whole thing seemed just a bit awkward and surreal.

Then I was flipping around the channel’s and came across something called The Stacey Head Show. And apparently it’s been on a while and I never knew. Stacy’s hair was particularly slick.

There was also plenty of local news, a show on The Louisiana Purchase and of course, Phat, Phat and All That. I’m telling you, there’s nothing better than some Local Access and beer!

1980

Who can guess? No, it’s not that Swayze’s death is on the front page. But I agree, that ain’t right.

Today starting at Noon there will be live-blogging of the Saints Season Opener coming straight from the Superdo…uh, Sylvania 42-inch! Almost the entire world thinks the Saints aren’t going to be challenged by The Detroit Lions (who have only won once in their last 24 tries and that includes a loss to us last season). Everybody is predicting the Saints to roll in this battle of music cities with depressed economies, and The Chicory is too. But, like Han Solo said, I’ve got a bad feeling about this… See ya at Noon.
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3:33 p.m. I love it but I am still weary about this defense. We don’t know exactly how bad or good the Detroit offense is so let’s give it some more time. But Jesus. The offense is explosive and so damn good. Go Saints.

3:32 p.m. Poor Reggie. Made a TD at the end and had it called back.

3:12 p.m. Okay, Drew Brees is going crazy. However, holla at ya boy Mike Bell for 115 yards rushing so far. He looks almost Deuce-like out there.

3:04 p.m. Announcers are wondering why Bush doesn’t go up the middle more.

2:55 p.m.Well, after the French 75 (said to have such a kick that it felt like being shelled with the powerful French 75mm howitzer artillery piece), I am compelled to lament the manic nature of this damn game. At least it is bi-polar in our favor.

2:50 p.m.
Offense is still masterful. Defense is improved.

2:40 p.m. Sorry. Halftime and Sunday Brunch slowed me down. Check it out though…

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and a French 75

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1:51 p.m. Halftime passing stats show just how many receiving options Brees has and how he is using them.

Shockey: 31 yds
Henderson: 39 yds
Bush: 39 yds
Moore: 38 yds
Meacham: 39 yds

Also, 4 TDs in the first half? Good gawd!

1:45 p.m. I wonder when Carney changed his name to “45 year-old John Carney”?

1:37 p.m. Saints get the ball back…wait Reggie fumbles again. He also throws a temper tantrum on the sideline. Throws his helmet down. Wait…Lions intercepted…shit, I can’t do this fast enough. Poor Reggie. Poor Lions rookie QB. Wait, 15-yard UC penalty gives us even better position. Ref has mushmouth, can’t get the penalty out. That was exciting.

1:32 Shockey scores again? What? Shockey is ecstatic on the sidelines. He has scored more this year than all of last year. Romy said he looks like someone you would see at Lucy’s. I say he has probably been seen at Lucy’s by her driving by after work and she is subliminally programmed to say that.

1:24: Amazing catch Lance Moore! I have always liked that kid.

1:16 p.m.: Shockey scores. Detroit #26 knocks the ball out of his hands after the celebration. Giant goofy jock Shockey doesn’t overreact. That’s a good Shockey.

1:02 p.m.: Reggie’s first fumble of the season! He also has 1 yd rushing with two carries and 26 yards receiving with a catch. Mike Bell is impressing and could be on his way to a hundred yard game.

12:57 p.m.: Okay, “serious” Drew Brees is picked off and the rejuvenated Lions have the ball deep in their territory. No we can see if this new defense is worth the price we paid. Yes, that’s a line from Return of the Jedi. But, now would be a time for them to step up. UPDATE: Yay! They did.

12:52 p.m.: Coach has his Waffle House menu out. The Lions are roaring back. It’s serious now.

12:38 p.m.: Trent Green: “Reggie just danced around a little too much” Welcome to our world.

12:32 p.m.: Since all my football friends are either at the game or haven’t woke up yet. I am stuck with Doris…
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and that aint so bad.

12:20 p.m.: Whoa! That second drive happened so fast I didn’t even have much of a chance to get excited. A three-yard drive to Mr. August for the score.

12:08: That was fast. The amazing reach of Marques Colston pulls one in in the end zone and 45 year-old John Carney with the extra point.

12:04: We start the season with Meacham? Meacham! with a good return. Pants calls him “Mr. August because he is always good in pre-season and then fades.


11:59 a.m.:
It’s Trent Green on color. He can be remembered for a respectable quarterback career and this ugly incident.

11:51 a.m.: Fox Sports’ Frank Caliendo has made a career doing an impersonation John Madden and now that John Madden has retired I get this creepy vibe that Fox is going to keep this thing going to fill some sort of void. It makes me feel icky. But hey, he is better at predicting games than the entire Fox Sports crew so that’s something.

In continuing with my obligation as a blogger to supplement and enhance mainstream media (MSM as it is annoyingly referred to), I would like to provide this video to show further evidence of the general awesome state of being achieved by 92 year-old Ernest Borgnine. Borgnine who has the distinction of having two heds on Nola.com this morning, also is a chronic masturbator. He says it’s the secret to long life…

For Times-Picayune coverage of Borgnine’s other accomplishments:

Ernie’s navy: Actor Ernest Borgnine’s first and finest role was as a Navy man

Actor Ernest Borgnine reflects on his career highlights

jesus

Wow! Look at all these great Biblical flood quotes!

Genesis 6:17 “Behold, I, even I am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish.

Genesis 7:7 Then Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives with him entered the ark because of the water of the flood.

Genesis 7:10 It came about after the seven days, that the water of the flood came upon the earth.

Genesis 7:17 Then the flood came upon the earth for forty days, and the water increased and lifted up the ark, so that it rose above the earth.

Genesis 9:11 “I establish My covenant with you; and all flesh shall never again be cut off by the water of the flood, neither shall there again be a flood to destroy the earth.”

Genesis 9:15 and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh.

Genesis 10:1 Now these are the records of the generations of Shem, Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah; and sons were born to them after the flood.

Genesis 10:32 These are the families of the sons of Noah, according to their genealogies, by their nations; and out of these the nations were separated on the earth after the flood.

Isaiah 54:9 “For this is like the days of Noah to Me, When I swore that the waters of Noah Would not flood the earth again; So I have sworn that I will not be angry with you Nor will I rebuke you.

Matthew 24:37 “For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah.

Matthew 24:38 “For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark,

Matthew 24:39 and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be.

Matthew 24:40 “Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.

Matthew 24:41 “Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left.

Matthew 24:42 “Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming.

Luke 17:26 “And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man:

Luke 17:27 they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all.

Hebrews 11:7 By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

1 Peter 3:20 who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water.

2 Peter 2:5 and did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven others, when He brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly;

2 Peter 3:5 For when they maintain this, it escapes their notice that by the word of God the heavens existed long ago and the earth was formed out of water and by water,

2 Peter 3:6 through which the world at that time was destroyed, being flooded with water.

Anyone who has reveled with me at Mardi Gras knows I have this weird affection for New Orleans folk figures. Two years ago, I dressed as “The Axe Man of New Orleans” and last year as Hugging Molly, both folk figures from the fantastic book Gumbo YaYa.

The Axeman was certainly more infamous and based in reality than Hugging Molly. But it seems as though Molly might have been reincarnated…

The infamous “Georgetown Cuddler” may be back at it again.

This weekend a young woman woke up to find a man next to her. She screamed and the suspect got away. It all sounds similar to a string of attacks in the past year linked to a one man dubbed the “Cuddler.”

The attack happened around 6:30 Sunday morning in the 1200 block of 33rd Street NW.

Police haven’t determined yet if this is another case of the “Georgetown Cuddler” but students here have no doubts and believe the “Cuddler” has struck again. In the neighborhoods of Georgetown, rarely touched by crime, the “Cuddler” is the one criminal that continues to elude police.
He walks into homes, often lays with his female victims, sometimes fondling them and then runs away.

Georgetown Cuddler Strikes Again?

Granted Molly was a hugger, not a cuddler and certainly not a fondler. And he did strike in the open rather than breaking and entering. But this is a modern era so he may have stepped up his game.

Beware the spirit of Molly.

I saw a flyer for The Toadies playing at Republic posted on a telephone pole a few weeks back and it was like I was suddenly walking into an acquaintance I hadn’t seen since ’95 and forgot existed.

Then this morning I get an e-mail saying Marcy Playground has “just been announced” for the venue. Not attempting to hide the band’s questionable relevence the venue decided to address those accusations head on in the e-mail (accents mine)…

Everyone knows Marcy Playground’s hit single “Sex And Candy”, which topped Billboard’s charts at #1 for fifteen consecutive weeks in 1997 (breaking the record at the time), but what many people don’t know is that Marcy Playground have been in the studio for years crafting their keenly-anticipated new record, Leaving Wonderland…In a Fit of Rage, which the band and critics call “their best work yet”. Free from Capitol records and artistically pure as always, the new record is still melodic modern rock for which people know and Love Marcy Playground, but it’s also a record that “digs deep, taking the listener on an exhilarating and satisfying emotional and musical rollercoaster ride”. Their show at Republic will be no exception, promising a bit of nostalgia and a lot of great new tunes.

I did like “Sex and Candy” back in the day and the follow up “Sherry Frasier” but damn, 12 years is a long time to be off the radar.

Coming soon to Republic: Helmut, Candlebox, Catherine Wheel, Folk Implosion, Dishwalla and Our Lady Peace. Not really.