Archive for the WTF Category

Woman arrested in grits attack

It’s on the West Bank! Call Seagal!

The article says she threw the grits on him after he broke up with her. I am sure this will inspire him to reconsider.

Just in case anyone was wondering, the gentleman who (allegedly) perpetrated this act is not related to me…

Metairie man says stranger chewed, swallowed after taking bite out of his arm

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon.

Joseph Lancellotti, 67, told authorities he did not know the suspect, later identified as Mario Vargas, 48, or why he was attacked in his front yard.

Lancellotti was gardening at his home in the 4400 block of Kawanee Avenue about 2 p.m. when he noticed a man walking toward his house, shouting angrily, the report said. Lancellotti said he couldn’t understand the man because he was yelling in Spanish. But when the man got within two feet, he slugged Lancellotti in the head, the report said.

Lancellotti said he tried to defend himself with a garden rake. As the men struggled over the rake, the stranger bent over and bit Lancellotti on his right forearm, the report said. Lancellotti’s flesh ripped away as he fell to the ground. The man then got on top of Lancellotti and began choking him, the report said.

It’s enough for the ubiquitous WTF category.

It’s been a while since I have utilized my ubiquitous WTF category but the the rules states that if at any time I utter the phrase while reading article then it applies. Thus, the phrase was uttered at around the the fifth paragraph of this Nola.com article…

SDT’s investigator says waste dumped as sabotage

“That was the first time we ever did that, man, ” Barbarin said. “That’s why all the drivers were suspicious, man.”

Best quote ever! The humanity bleeds through!

Anyways, the whole thing is a, ahem, shitstorm.

Oh lawd, lawd. He has arisen.

Even dead seemed to try to flee Ike’s wrath

Hurricane Katrina chased bluesman Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown from his adopted home in New Orleans to his hometown here on the Texas Gulf Coast, where he died in exile. Now, another hurricane has disturbed his rest.

The 1982 Grammy Award winner’s casket was one of dozens belched up by the ground when gulf and rain waters from Hurricane Ike flooded Hollywood Cemetery, an all-black burial ground on the west side of this city on the Sabine River.

This story will be told for centuries.

It’s been a while since I have utilized the ole WTF category but this story demands it:

Dispute over dead mother leads to Kenner killing

Kelvin Raymond lost his mother to heart failure Thursday. Three days later, he lost his life when a former neighbor stabbed him during a dispute over her, police said.

Witnesses told police that Raymond, 38, and Roosevelt “Junior” Peabody, 46, were arguing Sunday night outside the Raymond family home on Edge Court in Kenner. Peabody’s mother, Geraldine, who lives next door, said she went outside to investigate and that Raymond told her, “Junior is disrespecting me.”

She said her son was telling Raymond, ” ‘I loved your mama like she was my mama,’” and that Raymond responded, ” ‘She was my mama, not your mama.’”

Peabody retreated to his house, retrieved a steak knife and returned to stab Raymond once in the neck, said Shaun Watson, a spokesman for the Kenner Police Department. Raymond died at the scene.

Raymond’s relatives said they now plan a double funeral Saturday for Raymond and his mother, Mary Raymond, 72.

Riley said that after the police and crowd cleared early Monday, both families met under the Peabody carport and hugged. Henry said her family harbors no ill will toward Peabody’s relatives.

Man Exposes Self To Girl In Library

I tell ya, Metairie is turning into a regular Sin City! You’d never see that in any Orleans Parish libraries! That’s a suburb type of crime right there!

Uuuuuuuhhhh…maybe you SHOULD keep it?

I really don’t want to sell this because it’s one of those i can never get back. This is seriously some one of a kind artwork. I discovered this after the storm and i was basically awestruck. I had to save it. It’s kind of hard to grasp the detail from this pic but it’s a great photograph of some steaks, etc. This would be ideal for a kitchen or dining room.

I’m moving back home to Memphis on the 24th and cannot take anything with me. I’m selling everything so make me a offer. Anything about $25 has this, if not i’m going to find a way to keep it.

One Of A Kind (seriously) – $25

Kitchen – not really. Dining room – no fucking way.

bait

Who ISN’T going to notice this motherfucker wandering the streets of New Orleans? Looks like he used part of that nose for bait! God damn!

I can’t believe the ole chisel and bedsheets still works.

Anyway, be on the lookout…

Inmate escapes from Orleans Parish Prison

Update: They got him. On the WB no less.

I was just thinking yesterday that there had not been a news item that qualified for my WTF category lately. Then a pair of fetuses (feti?) went and got flushed down someone’s toilet or thrown down a gutter here in Algiers. Yea, that qualifies.

Fetuses found in Algiers sewer line

Interesting that the line only serves four apartments. Not going to take a crack team of investigators to figure that one out. Just knock on each of the doors, chat with the occupants for five minutes and the CRAZIEST SUMBITCH you talk to is the most likely culprit. Damn fetus flushers.

Just when I thought my WTF category was starting to fade comes this story out of Jeff Parish….

Bogus cop tries to body search teen girl

He told her that she was lucky he wasn’t giving her a cavity search? Sick bastard! Obviously a real creep. Sounds like he really put some effort into his ruse as well. What with all the fake stuff. A real serial killer in-training. Let’s hope he doesn’t sign up.

The most important part of the story…

“If a motorist feels uneasy about being pulled over by what appears to be an unmarked law enforcement vehicle, Fortunato said the best course of action is to slow down to acknowledge the vehicle. Then, the motorist should proceed to the nearest well-lit and populated area and stop.

Motorists with cell phones can call 911 to notify them of the stop and their intentions. If things seem fishy, Fortunato said motorists should try to collect as much information as possible about the person and the vehicle.”

And hey, be careful out there.