Archive for the Diatribe Category

As soon as I heard Eddie Jordan’s office was dismissing the case against accused quintuple murderer Michael Anderson, I knew I was going to be writing an angry diatribe about the sorry state of criminal justice affairs in New Orleans. As I pieced together the rant in my head throughout the day, it was unclear who to blame most.

Should I accuse the police for not collecting enough evidence and presenting it to prosecutors? Should I rail against another witness who refused to cooperate? Or should I lambaste the DA’s office for bungling the damn thing and not following through?

I decided to blame everybody. The whole damn system. Let them all feel the cyber outrage. It would be a long post but they all would deserve it.

Then I fired up the old Web browser and couldn’t believe what I read. The NOPD located the witness? In less than 24-hours no less? And not only is she willing to testify but she is going to be at a press conference at 2:30?

Well, that only leaves one person to blame doesn’t it?

But before that happens, I’d like to commend the NOPD for showing the leadership and fortitude to step forward and do what the District Attorney’s office, with the help of U.S. Attorney Jim Letten, couldn’t do.

Thanks NOPD. Seriously.


It’s the biggest mass murder in New Orleans in 10 years. It was all over the national news. One would think, for fucking APPEARANCES at the very least, the DA’s office might be able to concentrate their efforts and convict this one dude. Or fuck that. Just TRY him. Just bring the fucking case to trial.

Some quotes include:

This pattern from the District Attorney’s Office is unacceptable and must improve immediately or I will ask the Attorney General to conduct a full investigation into this office.

Improve immediatly? Fuck that! Investigate now! I’m pro investigation!

From the WWL article…

On Tuesday, Jordan’s office stressed that charges could still be brought against Anderson in the multiple murders and that the investigation was continuing.

COULD be? How about WILL be?

Who at the DA’s office even has trial skills I wonder?

But that’s how incompetent the office, with Jordan as its figurehead, is. My neighbor across the street has a fantasy about walking up to Jordan and punching him in the face because he knew he’d never get convicted for it.

Imagine this. A good cop walks the streets of the city. He is called to a murder. Makes an arrest. Six months later, he arrests the same guy for possession. The six months later, he arrests the same guy for murder again. How can the police department stay motivated to catch criminals when they know the DA is going to refuse the case or otherwise dismiss the damn thing? No one wants to spin their wheels at work. When the work is keeping the community safe, it must be madness.

Jordan has to go. He has to. He should be at the top of everyone’s list as the most incompetent public servant we have. Beyond Nagin’s gubernatorial aspirations, beyond Stacy Head’s real estate, beyond Vitter’s penis, beyond geologists in Hartford, this guy has to be everyone’s number one priority.

We should march, sit, post flyers, write pamphlets, hire a skywriter, holler through a bullhorn, blog, run through the city naked, do whatever we can to get rid of this motherfucker.

Get the preachers, the fat cats, the painters, the trumpet blowers, the section 8 landlords, the single moms, the taco truck drivers, the beignet makers, the Corps, the sous chefs, the goths, the bartenders, the Hondurans, the Vietnamese, the float makers, the trailer dwellers, the educators, the gutter punks, the tattoo artists, the craft mafia, the oil men, the dock workers, the garbage men, the hospitality workers, the college students, the gays and lesbians, the doctors and nurses, Brad and Angelina; get every swinging dick and tit in this city together and let’s force this motherfucker out for fuck’s sake.


Edit: Maitri was awesome enough to post e-mail addys of our local politicians for everyone to write to. You can just copy and paste this into the body of the e-mail:

“As a citizen of New Orleans, I am pleading with you to join the chorus of citizens who are demanding the resignation of District Attorney Eddie Jordan.”

Barbarian at the Gate

I just finished a search for any plans that may be underway for coastal restoration in Louisiana. I’ve heard talk but wanted something visual. Like a pretty drawing or something magical and innovative that would inspire me.

I didn’t find anything. Perhaps more time.

The sad thing is that, from what I have gathered speaking to people and reading on the Internet, many think it’s not a matter of IF we could protect South Louisiana from future storm surges, but SHOULD we. And the “should” addresses the simple matter of cost.


So it comes down to capitalism. Good to know that prudent spending trumps ego in the minds of constricted thinkers. We could have the greatest flood protection system in the world but [whiney voice] It’s too expensive! [whiney voice].

I’ve heard everything from “let it sink,” to “is it worth saving?” to “leave.” Nobody questions IF our home can be saved, it always comes down to a question of worth. And it’s these motherfuckers that really infuriate me. They are the barbarians at the gate. The way I see it, these opinions are a direct threat to me and my loved ones. My neighborhood and my home. As much as a terrorist or a mugger or a crooked politician. Some dumbass in another part of the country who couldn’t give two shits about New Orleans is fine. But if said dumbass wants to write a letter to a newspaper or tell some reporter or post on a message board that he doesn’t think New Orleans should be saved and he doesn’t want his tax money spent on our safety, then I consider him to be a threat to myself and my loved ones. They can choose to put themself out there or they can STFU.

And in the end, I hate to say it. It may come down to simple racism. Or at the very least classism. I don’t believe in playing the “ism” very often because I think it’s way overused and often is just a tool implemented to get somebody something they want. But it seems to me, in this case, it’s appropriate. People only see South Louisiana as crazy Cajuns living in swamp shacks or black folks on welfare living in projects or spaced out artist types riding vintage bikes around the French Quarter. These are false impressions that are perpetuated over and over again because once people see something that they accept as the truth, they never want to see anything that questions that truth. Multitudes are too much for their minds to bear. Tiny devices inside their heads become trained to see things in only one way. So when New Orleans is brought to mind, instantly pictures of boobs, beads and beer flash inside their heads. Toothless Cajun men in straw hats who can’t speak and gutter punks collecting dogs and spare change follow. Like all generalizations, these are inaccurate. The homeowners and renovators and mid-level managers and professionals and salesmen, hospitality workers and medical students and shipping executives and honest contractors and all the other good people in the area are left out of the equation altogether, even though they make up the vast majority of the populace.

Hey, everyone’s entitled to their opinion right? Yea, they are entitled to it. But when they go around posting it on the Internet or writing about it in newspapers then it becomes more than just an opinion. Then it becomes a notion they are trying to spread. And then they become a threat. I’m not losing my mind here. I’m not going to go on a rampage. I’m just stating that, when faced with people who aim to destroy my home through inaction, I will engage them as I would any other threat. I’m sorry if this sounds like I am acting in some macho aggressive shithead manner but the emotions that boil up inside of me when people talk shit about New Orleans are akin to the same thoughts that effect those Toby Keith-types when people run down America. I never thought I would have anything in common with those folks. And to be honest it may very well be those folks who are the ones who I’m talking about. They want to defend America but not New Orleans. They want to spend money in the Middle East but not South Louisiana. It fucking sucks.

My, my. What a potty mouth. On a Sunday no less.