Archive for the Meanderings Category

My night could have gone either way before stepping into Marigny Brassierre on Oct. 31, 2012. After stepping out, there was no saving it. I couldn’t wash the feel of it from my being.

We are all aware of the increasing commodification of Frenchmen Street and the Marigny neighborhood. I loathe what it is becoming. I loathe the cheap plastic “sexy” costumes on Halloween night. I loathe the obnoxious rolling Red Bull boom box that parks in the street and blasts non-local dance music by Black Eyed Peas and Adele onto the sacred street of Frenchmen. I wish the techno robot didn’t have to compete with this crap. I wish kids could still get nitrous baloons for a few bucks a pop. I wish it was still more of a bar-to-bar night through Frenchmen and Lower Decatur but, as Robert Frost said, “Nothing gold can stay.”

Marigny Brassierre in particular seemed to be the epicenter of the ecotone this night. With seiging tourism onslaught in full force, they were going all in. But it was taking its toll. The staff was a surly bunch. Seemingly fed up with the bullshit. Bar service could not have been any worse. Bartender was ill-tempered and virtually encouraging dust-ups with customers by being antagonistic. She was clearly over her head on a busy night and lacked perhaps the most critical ingedient any bartender needs, grace under pressure. She could not keep track of who was at the bar first and just went up to groups of people waiting for drinks and asked, “Who was here first?” This encourages people to jump in line and cause arguments / worse among patrons. She also did not wait for customers ordering several drinks at once (making her job easier by grouping transactions and shortening lines) and just walked away after one drink was ordered without acknowledging receipt of order. When taking an order you wait for the person to finish and in some way, either by repeating it back to them or saying “got it” or whatever, you acknowledge that you received it. It’s not an entitlement, it’s just the simplest way to transact.

I was keenly aware of this because I got all caught up in it. She asked me what I wanted and walked away after “Abita Amber” and never heard the two cocktails I also mentioned. Then, another bartender came up after, asked “who was here first,” took my order, listened to the entire order, indicated that she had received the entire order and began making the drinks. By then the first bartender returned with the Amber and seeing that I ordered from another bartender literally yelled, “I ALREADY MADE YOUR DRINK! DON’T ORDER MORE THAN ONCE!” When I told her that there was more to the order than what she bothered to listen to she yelled, “HERE’S YOUR ORDER!” and pointed at the one drink she had placed on the bar. Then she screamed, “DOUCHEBAG!” right at me in front of my wife and her friend and the entire bar full of patrons. I seethed and, sensing the developing hostilities, the other bartender stepped in to finish the transaction and called me “baby” as a sort of peace offering. I gathered that there may have been some dissention in the ranks but that’s only speculation.

And hey, there WERE a lot of douchebags out on this night. It’s creeping from Bourbon Street onto Frenchmen. We all know this and no one knows what to do. Most likely nothing can be done. I am sure this bartender perhaps encountered a few of them this night. I wasn’t one of them. She created the entire situation. She was fulfilling the generalization that the entire bar were douchebags and needed to be treated as such. It was one of those long middle-of-the-week Halloweens so there is a good chance she had been dealing with it for a while. I understand but it’s a hardship of the job and a short part of the narrative in a longer arc. Shit happens. It’s part of the job.

Having tended drinks to scores of obnoxious drunks myself over the years I understand each new face is something different than the last. More than anything else, each one has to be gauged and not painted with a broad brush. Some may be suffering same as you. I have yelled at my fair share as well. I never incited it. Being a bartender requires this sort of sense.

So, I may hazard to guess that much of the douchebaggery coming across the bar toward the bartenders may have been a result of a symbiosis with the entire staff of Marigny Brassiere. They may have been responsible for it themselves. I noticed that the service area of the bar was very crowded but the area around where people would mingle was very empty. So after they got their drinks, people were getting the hell out of there even though the streets were packed and a madhouse. They weren’t enjoying the “fun casual atmosphere” described on the Web site. I am sure people would have loved to have had a seat at a window in a spot with a bathroom close by but they were leaving because the energy was so bad I presume. In the short time I was there, twice I experienced the staff rudely yelling at patrons.

And about the bathrooms, I’m not sure of the legality of this but I do know it damages the reputation of your restaurant to transform it into a “pay-to-pee” spot. If a hundred people paid $5 to pee that night that’s $500 bucks and that helps with the rent right? And what’s a little negativity among the patrons for that kind of cash? I am sure that girl the manager screamed at for trying to sneak through copped a squat somewhere in the neighborhood because she looked about to burst as she was being loudly shamed for trying to get by. That’s for some Marigny renter or homeowner to deal with right?

Marigny Brassiere, if you are going to play ball with the encroachment of tourism on Frenchmen street, please verse your employees in how to be kind to the very beast that’s paying the rent. Or, just close the doors on busy nights like Halloween. I noticed a few spots that opted-out. Staying open in misery, allowing a grossly out-of-control, chip-shouldered bartender to damage your reputation, and transforming your brassiere into a beer garden and pay-to-piss business doesn’t seem like a recipe for long term success for your business and increases the burden your neighbors are experiencing as their blocks increasing become entertainment zones.

Felt compelled to put this up in response to Smacketology: A tournament to determine The Wire’s greatest character. Mostly because they didn’t include loyal muscle Slim Charles and ranked Bubbles to low. It could be argued that the entire series was Bubbles’ story. So a 7th seed seems criminal.

Anyway. Never cared for McNulty so he’s not listed. Hey, it’s my list.

1. Omar Little
2. Bubbles Cousins
3. Bunk Moreland
4. Stringer Bell
5. Clay Davis
6. Bunny Colvin
7. Prop Joe
8. Wallace
9. Slim Charles
10. Cutty Wise
11. Bodie Broadus
12. Snoop Pearson
13. Chris Partlow
14. Dukie Weems
15. Michael Lee
16. Lester Freamon
17. Prez
18. Kima Greggs
19. Wee Bay Brice
20. Brother Mouzon
21. William Rawls
22. Jay Landsman
23. Marlo Stansfield
24. Frank Sobotka
25. D’angelo Barksdale
26. Avon Barksdale
27. Cedric Daniels
28. Maurice Levy
29. Kenard
30. Herc
31. Butchie
32. Carver

When I was younger and much more miscreant in my behavior, I used to be able to identify a Crown Victoria by the shape of their headlights in my rear view mirror. I could even discern the year and model of the car by where the parking lights were located. The earlier models had one contiunous orange light under a double headlight. Later models moved the parking lights over next to the one dual-use headlight in a more oval shape.

Like Superpowers dismantling nuclear arsenals, I really don’t have much of a use for identifying the make and model of the car behind me at night anymore.

But those Crown Vics are distinctive cars. And the older, more responsible me has become pretty adept at identifying the rev and hum of the engine when one is speeding down the street in front of my house.

For a second I had a momentary flashback to mucky floodlines while lamenting that all the wild duck gumbo was ladled out cup-by-cup and gone on New Year’s Day…

Looks like…

Every year it’s a crap shoot when I go to City Hall to renew my Jackson Square license. Will it be chaos or smooth? It’s been about 50/50 the last few years. This year went pretty smooth. I only had two notable observations.

1.) A foreign man applying for a business license was surrounded by a few city workers who tried to explain to him some process that even in English sounded a bit complicated. After ascertaining that he understood what was going on, the man then tried to explain to them how the entire process was “Kafkaesque” telling them who Kafka was, where he was from, so on…

2.) The entire Department of Revenue smelled like Hot Wing farts.

I have probably made the New Orleans to Pensacola / Pensacola to New Orleans drive down 1-10 a hundred times in my life. I know it takes 3 hours almost exactly. I have seen the “Rocketships of Mobile” sprout from their skyline. I have seen the old Twin Spans go down and the new ones come up. I always comment how Brett Favre grew up in Kiln. I evacuated from Katrina down that way and crept on back a few weeks later. I have mistakenly drifted down I-59, stoned and confused. I have stopped in Biloxi for some slots. I have said “fuck it” and taken HWY 90 the whole way (it takes three times as long but is worth it).

One of the sites along the way is always the Billboards around Biloxi advertising which artist is doing the Casino circuit. There are frequent appearances by Pat Benatar and Sinbad and something called Creedence Clearwater Revisited.

The acts have stepped up a notch in recent years with the addition of the Hard Rock Casino. I think it may have reached its peak on Dec. 3 because Judas Priest is coming.

To many people, Priest may seem like just another metal band from the ’80s but to metal fans they are really in rare air. They weren’t a hair, band they were METAL. Like Dio. Like Dokken. Like Sabbath.

And the Biloxi show? It’s sold out. But that’s okay, because the real fun will be out in the parking lot. Because not only is Priest held in such high regard among Metal fans. They are also responsible for the best underground VHS tape EVER, EVER, EVER. Simply titled, “Heavy Metal Parking Lot.”

Sproadic clips can be found on YouTube. Among the highlights, “Zebra Man” Who extols the virtues of Metal and disses punbk and Madonna whom he refers to as a “dick.” This remains the only time I have ever heard a woman referred to as a “dick.”

See if you can figure out the funniest part about this clip featuring David who, before he departs for a career in the armed forces is “ready to rock.”

Finally, this woman comes about as close as possible to the living embodiment of my inner voice as I’ve seen. Except that part about fucking Rob Halford of course…

Also, be sure to catch “Graham-like-gram-of-dope-and-shit.”

I have been meaning to post these photos of the taxidermy animals at Casey Jones Supermarket in Gretna for a long time.

Casey Jones is a family-owned store that is a warm departure from Wal-Mart or even Rouses. One time, I asked the teen kid for a bottle of whiskey and he hollered at the elderly lady behind him, “Grandma! Need a bottle of Jim Beam!”

We see the same people in there for years at a a time. The sound of thunder and lightning plays before the vegetables get sprayed. And yes, there are taxidermy animals inside…

I love this last one because the way he is emerging from behind the Styrofoam recalls the first image of the monster in 1954′s “Gojira”

Saw this site, Dear Photograph, the other day and was going to submit but the TOS and privacy policy was so worded that I figured I should just do it here and not see my pics in a book with no royalties one day. Or, it could be in a book WITH royalties and I just screwed myself out of them. Either way…

DSC07706u

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I’m fascinated with places and objects and their memories of what has happened around them. It must be from hanging around New Orleans and Jackson Square in particular. Not talking about ghosts or spirits or anything like that because skeptical disposition prevents belief in that but, the little atoms and molecules that were altered by events like Ceaser’s dying breath.

The photos when shown like that allow the reader to get a clearer view of the past. Usually you look at a photo as a memory of a place that you can take with you. Seeing the photo in it’s original context does something extra. It adds some sort of nostalgic, but haunting, element.

And you know what the Tanyas said, you pass through places and places pass through you…

Though I am mostly a pinko liberal when it comes to most things government related, I have always made it a point to tout my harshly libertarian views on liquor laws (and, among closer friends, vice laws altogether). I have often wanted to create and propagate a “from my cold dead hands” slogan for those of us who want big government’s filthy stinking hands off our beer, wine and whiskey.

I have even started a Facebook page called, The Liquor Lobbyists that my friend Randy and I envisioned while driving through several adjacent dry counties in Alabama after a long hike. Each store we passed would tempt us with neon signs that in the distance we automatically skewed into the words “Bud Lite” and “Miller” but as we drew closer to them from down the long dark roads we discovered they only flashed “Coke.” Our resoning at the time would be to form a lobby which would aim to prevent any dry counties from being adjacent to another dry county. We would first aim to do this on the local level and then, failing that, move up to state and national congresses. The counties we were driving through at the time were Walker and Winston and, after reading a little bit about Winston on Wikipedia, I am thinking we would have a better shot convicing the residents of Walker County to lift the oppressive thumb of government from the ripe fecundity of liberty.

Last year, I celebrated a victory for the general Liquor movement when free market dictated to local drug store Walgreens that liquor sales were a necessary margin they needed to fill in their ongoing market struggle with CVS and Rite Aid…

Walgreens Selling Beer! Liberty At Last!

Now I read that our triumph has gone one step furthur as the free market has agin shined on the Liquor Lobby by Walgreens producing their own domestic lager…

Walgreens’ 50-cent beer
The drugstore chain has begun selling its own brew at rock-bottom prices. Reviewers are claiming it gave them headaches, but will the beer-swilling masses respond?

Check out the how the free market of booze directly contributed to their recent decisions…

In this tough economy, consumers are looking for value and ways to make their money go further. Big Flats 1901 offers our customers a premium lager at a good value. -Kathleen Burns, senior marketing manager at Winery Exchange.

If that aint a victory for the free market, I don’t know what is. However, that “premium lager” part is suspect as reviews from the This Week article have shown. My favoriute being quoted below…

at $3 for a six pack, I’d definitely give it a shot” to “I’d probably try it once” to “I tried the 7-11 beer and it couldn’t be any worse than that.

7-11 beer you may ask?

It pairs with microwave burritos
7-Eleven to begin selling ‘Game Day,’ its own beer brand

Say Hello to the future, “longest bridge in the world:”

Sorry Causeway, though you are a Modern Marvel…