Archive for February, 2009

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- Where were all the Reno 911 ladies? When it says “cast”, I want the cast!

- There was some Awards show that happened?

- There was some speech?

- The whole season was preceded by a crippling stomach virus last Tuesday that didn’t retreat until a few hours before Muses.

- Muses was once again the best parade of the season. Next year, I won’t be denied my shoe.

- First time I ever saw Morpheus and though it was sorta ghetto.

- Skipped Endy as usual and we had a huge bonfire in the neighbor’s backyard.

- Missed Bacchus do to a slight relapse of the stomach virus but did watch it on TV. Man, if you thought Norman was tipsy during election coverage your should hear him on parade duty. Even though the best line of the night was delivered by his collegue who said, “I never knew Godzilla had such a tiny head!”

- Lundi Gras was spent costume making and Orpheus watching. Great, great parade. It’s one of my favorites. Love that train and it’s nice to have lady riders so I can get some throws like all the ladies do.

- Woke up around 8:30 on Fat Tuesday got dressed in my Hugging Molly costume and was on the ferry by 10:30. Missed Rex and Zulu again and that makes it 11 Mardi Gras without them.

- Began on Canal, worked our way up Chartres, then Royal, then Jackson Square, down Royal, over into the Marigny, around Frenchmen, over to the R Bar, back down Decatur to Jackson Square and into Pirate’s Alley, over to the Moonwalk, fell, got up, made it to the ferry, ate a burger and walked home.

- I drank all the Indians in the “yellow thing”and bought several beers as well.

- I dodged a large hole in my path around the Marigny then heard beer and bodies hitting the ground behind me as members of my party fell in.

- I saw a real live Vic and Natly.

- “Guy Shaving” was out again this year.

- I fell on the moonwalk. My foot stepped off the walk and I “overcorrected” and, ever-so-gently, collapsed.

- Even though I was very tore-out-the-frame and wearing a long white cloak, I was not shot or robbed on my walk home.

- My Hugging Molly costume was a success and I hugged many unsuspecting victims all day.

- I saw one penis, four boobies and an assload of asses.

- A map of our traipse is below…

This here is a pretty fine example of Nagin’s “concealment” sin…

Mayor Ray Nagin’s 2008 e-mails deleted in violation of records law

So if we are all left to wonder what may have been in there. The only thing we can do is speculate. And since everyone’s already suspicious of him, he doesn’t lose any face with anyone who didn’t already think he was a jackal. But if the e-mails did indeed reveal wrongdoing, he would have faced larger problems than speculation. So why not erase them?

Oh, and then there is this…

Restoration – file undelete utility

It’s not a puzzle why the lunatics flock to Nola.com’s message boards. Take at look at these awful heds…

This one is just full of lunacy! They are using “horse sense because they are on horses! And the drunk tourists they are wrangling are party “animals.” Hey, horses are animals!

Planes land at airports and they are stored in hangars!

Dead people are buried at cemeteries. A historic spot is being repaired damage. Therefore it is coming back to life! What about “Chalmette National Cemetery Coming Back From the Dead”?

Nola.com, can you please just report the damn news? The only people that think these awful headlines are cute are idiots interns. Just report the news. Don’t report it from this bias or that one. Don’t dress it up as something it isn’t. Just tell us what happened. Tell us everything that happened. Don’t tell us someone else is telling us what’s happening. Just tell us yourself. And don’t try to be so cute about it.

And don’t let interns and temps write heds. Unless of course this is coming from above and if so how do you apply for this job?

You know, Idiocracy was on Cable last night.

My very, very favorite episode of This American Life is available as a downloadable mp3 this week so if you are bored at work today and want to hear a great story, give it a listen. It’s set partly in Louisiana so there’s a bit of a local connection as well.

The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar

And if you really like it, toss the show a few bucks here.

It seems like every F’n one in town is going to Krewe Du Vieux tonight so I have just two simple requests…

1.) To the thugs, please don’t kill anyone.

2.) To the NOPD, please don’t kill anyone!

See yall out there.

Also, I think it was the late great Ashmo who proclaimed the permanent weather forecast for KDV as “cold as fuck” and for Jazzfest as “hotter than hell.” Looks like he’s got some pull in the Universe cause it’s gonna be nice.

After 5 burglaries New Orleanian gives up, moving to Austin

These stories, they get old after a while. It’s generally the same, someone is leaving town, blaming something. I’ve read or listened to dozens of these just in the few five years I have nbeen here. Those who left who are checking in to say “That’s why I left.” Those who are about to leave who are saying, “This is why I am about to leave.” Those who are leaving who say, “Here’s why.”

And where ever they go, there they are.

I’ve kicked a couple cities on my way out myself.

As a 23 year-old Hospitality Industry barhopper in Pensacola, I made the decision to leave based on the city’s redundancy and to escape my intoxicated miscreant youth. People moaned that there was nothing to do all the time. I exited, chastised my friends and encouraged them to leave as well. Some did, others didn’t. I am better for my decision and I can say that those who stayed are doing fine as well.

As a 31 year-old Entertainment editor in San Diego, I was immersed in a superficial culture that tore down its landmarks and tried to create brand new ones. I was swamped by 800 sqaure foot properties for $300,000 and folks that judged me on my car and my southern accent. All my friends lamented the fact that they hated their home. Large, fake breasts and dance clubs with stanchions out front surrounded me. People complained about how fake it all was constantly. I made the decision to leave and was gone a few months later.

So now I live in a place where people tattoo the city’s symbol to their forearms and biceps. And I still hear complaints about the city and it’s crime problem and corruption and hurricanes. I guess I am becoming sort of a sophomore resident because stories about people leaving and kicking the city on their way out don’t intrigue me any longer. I don’t blame anyone for leaving. I utterly understand their decisions. Everyone’s thought about it. But if someone decides to leave I’m not sure it’s much of a news story. Because people are leaving cities they are sick of all over the country. And I am not sure what the purpose of another newspaper story or Internet scribe about leaving is. Is it going to inspire the police department or the local government to finally make an effort to improve? No.

What it might do is inspire other residents to leave as well and since GNO population continues to grow, I’m not sure how this story contributes to any sort of increasing trend.

So to anyone out there who has left, is think of leaving or is in the process of leaving. I appreciate your decision. I empathize with you. I welcome you back. But please don’t kick the city on the way out because you gave up the fight.

And to local media, these stories aren’t news, they are just life.