Archive for January, 2008

They say it’s a marathon, not a sprint but now it’s, looking more like a relay. Since Muses has been postponed, I need to revise my Carnival schedule and it lines up now like a burst/rest/burst/rest/burst/hangover forecast.

Friday: D’Etat-Morpheus-Muses, Uptown? Lafayette Square? Canal? Home by undetermined means (late night).

Saturday: Rest, eat spaghetti and fried chicken, maybe visit with neighbors, stay in the neighborhood.

Sunday: Thoth-Mid City-Bacchus, then Donna’s, home by cab hopefully (late, late night.)

Monday: Rest, costume making, Orpheus, home by ferry, nightcap?

Tuesday: Drink blood of chicken in coffee, fail to see Rex and Zulu again, consume many PBRs, dance in the street, chase midget tourists, fornicate with sock, shake fist at the Gods, lose voice, home by ferry, burger at Dry Dock?

Wednesday: Ceremonial giving up of something I don’t indulge in very often anyway, perform work tasks hungoverly.

The feared and reviled Krewe of Tow will be out in full force this Carnival with a brand new king heading up the group.

The Samson Lift Technologies LLC’s patented Side Loading Vehicle Retriever is prowling the area looking for perpetrators who park to close to intersections, crosswalks, hydrants and in parade routes.

According to the Samson Web site:

- Removal of vehicles in under 45 seconds.
- Vehicles are lifted only by their tires eliminating all “towing” damage.
- Operator never has to break into a vehicle eliminating “break-in” damage.
- The unique ability to tow parallel parked cars.
- The ability to lift cars from either side of the tow truck.
- Operator can perform all towing functions from inside the cab.
- Entire process can be videotaped to document damage free towing.
- Increases efficiencies and allows increased revenue for private tow operators.

Tow damage? But they always told me that was there before! Break in damage? WTF? Strange that even in the wording the video tape only serves to document damage free towing.

Anyway, make your donation to the Krewe of Tow today! I know I received my invoice last weekend in front of my house for “parking against traffic.” Only $20 thankfully.

We are all going broke in 2008 y’all! Starbucks is closing stores! And there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth, and the whole moon became like blood!

Starbucks cautious on 2008, closing 100 stores

From the article…

The coffee chain — which is turning its focus to increasing its overseas business that helped the company post a higher quarterly profit — has been battered in recent months by slower consumer spending, higher milk and labor costs and concerns it may have saturated the U.S. market.

To John Edwards, Thanks.

For doing your part in keeping the ongoing issue of New Orleans and its recovery from the flood a part of the presidential race and for keeping an agenda on the worsening issue of poverty and class in the United States.

I understand that aligning yourself with New Orleans was a risky move. Folks like to pretend that not only August 29, 2005 never happened but the poverty and helplessness it exposed never happened. For those who tout our country as the greatest on Earth, it was a shattering expose. They would rather ignore it or, as some have insanly suggested, destroy it rather than do what you proposed in your campaign: fixing it.

Perhaps now is not the time. Perhaps in a few more years. Perhaps in a few more decades.

If your name is still on the ballot in Louisiana when our primary rolls around, I’ll still cast my vote for it.

- The Chicory

I was reading this story about the tragic death of New Orleans Police Officer Nicola Cotton and saw this strange bit of melodrama at the end…

On Monday, she had a smoked sausage sandwich with cheese on toast. About 30 minutes later, paramedics rushed to the scene of her shooting.

Do we really need to know what Officer Cotton had for breakfast the moments before she was senselessly killed? I think I understand what the writer was attempting. He was probably trying to say in the uncertainty of the Universe, we can be eating a sausage sandwich one moment and killed by a mentally ill person the next.

But didn’t we already know that by reading the article?

Condolences to the family of Officer Cotton.

thunderlips.jpg

I thought about writing up a post comparing the benefits of watching the Super Bowl with the benefits of watching Okeanos / Thoth / Mid-City / Bacchus, but I couldn’t come up with a single reason to watch the game. Not to mention my neighbor will be in Thoth and has bought many spears to throw (er, drop).

Also in regards to the heady week ahead, how cool will it be to finish up the revelry on Tuesday and (probably) know who the Democratic candidate for President will be?

I happened upon Official Harry of New Orleans Harry Shearer’s fantastic page at the site, My Damn Channel and thought I might share a couple of his recently posted vids…

…replaced some instances of the words, “Britney Spears” in this article with the words, “Clint Maedgen.” And then suddenly, I didn’t have to rip my own throat out and cry for America.

Ever get the feeling somebody is making a whole lot of money off Clint Maedgen besides Clint Maedgen?

Portfolio magazine estimates the annual value of Clint Maedgen to the U.S. economy is 110- to 120-million dollars — and that’s when he isn’t even touring.

Portfolio estimates record companies, promoters and licensers make 30- to 40-million dollars because of endorsements, record sales and other business.

It estimates the paparazzi make 4 million dollars from selling photos of the Lafayette native. Celebrity tabloids, web traffic and other media make an estimated 75 million dollars off him in a year. A celebrity tabloid can sell as many as 33 percent more copies if Clint is on the cover.

grand canyon

You may think this is a photo of the Grand Canyon but it is actually a metaphor for the never ending layers of Mayor Ray Nagin’s incompetence…

I’ve received this identical message twice in the last week…

The Metro Juvenile DA’s office say they have received “credible” information from their Gang prevention unit that there is about to be a major surge in gang initiations over the next few weeks. These initiations involve random shootings that are required to “make it” into the gang. They are especially going to be targeting women and unsuspecting people out in shopping mall parking lots. They are supposedly going to be coming up and asking for directions. They are urging everyone to be VERY cautious and VERY aware of your surroundings. Which I know we all should be anyway, but one more warning sure can’t hurt. PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!

To anyone who receives this message please consult Snopes. They even have a quote direct from Sheriff Newell Normand:

We have checked with all of the appropriate law enforcement agencies throughout this region concerning an email being circulated mentioning gang related material. We have determined there is no evidence to support it’s validity.

To anyone who cares, I think it is safe to assume all “gang initiation” warnings are BS. Gangs exist to stay alive and continue dealing drugs and making money. They are like many other entities in that manner. Many of the crimes they perpetrate are in the process of some money-making event: Burglary, robbery, drug dealing, killing customers who don’t pay up, killing rivals over territory to deal drugs. if it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense. Innocent victims sometimes get caught in the midst of these crimes but rarely does this occur as a means to “make it” into the gang. Members are often “jumped in” to the gang by having older members beat him in some sort of ceremony.