Dear Coach Payton,
Since our kicker is struggling, and since drafting old guys is all the rage in the NFC South. Might I suggest drafting former all-time great place kicker Gary Anderson? Sure he is 49 years old but, he is also a helluva kicker! Second on the all-time leading scorer list actually. You know who is first? Recently-drafted-by-Atlanta kicker Morten Anderson. These two have a good-natured rivalry over who will retain the scoring title longest. You could use Anderson for the short shots that Mare can’t seem to make and then use Mare for the long-legged kicks! Can’t lose!
Also, the only thing he is doing these days is fishing in Alberta, Canada.
Let me know if you need any more tips.
A fan,
Lance ‘Varg’ Vargas
P.S. Some of the local sports commentators say look like Malcolm in the Middle Frankie Muniz but I don’t think so.
(actually sent to Saint organization)