When I first moved here, I searched for years to find a job either writing or in design. That was where my skills were and that was my career. What I went through in that search is a post for another day. But I recently got the hankering to venture back to my old career and I surfed over to New Orleans Craigslist to see what was being offered.
It wernt pretty. Following are actual postings.
From the, “I’d sooner slash my wrists” department…
Seeking go-go freelance NOLA designer who can produce. Must have a great eye and talent for award-winning typography, layout, details, tracking, spacing and nuances. Must be able work fast and furious, take direction — and be available for intense, condensed timeframe. Excellent opportunity for right person. Please send your background, experience and availability.
From the “porno but professional porno” department…
The intellect to understand that although we publish a book that serves to educate on how to establish an adult industry related business, it does not diminish our level of professionalism, nor our ability to run an effective, profitable business, and treat contractors, vendors, etc. with respect.
I’m not lying, this was the only thing written in this one…
webdesiner needed asap 2 build webpages
Then in another post, all that was written was…
webmaster needed paying job
Zehno’s hiring. Good place to work.
http://zehno.com/jobs/index.html
As for contestant number one:
good – fast – cheap
You may select only two
Hehe…
Here’s a breakdown of what he really means:
go-go – unrealistic deadlines
freelance – will call you at home all hours
who can produce – will expect more from you than what your resume states or what you tell him in the interview you will do
Must have a great eye – needs to be agreeable with his eye
talent for award-winning typography – must have won an award for typesetting? Strange.
layout, details, tracking, spacing and nuances – I know what the first four mean but “nuances”? Is anyone going to say, “Actually, i’m no good at nuannces.”
Must be able work fast and furious, – see “go-go”
take direction – be micro-managed
and be available for intense, – he is an asshole
condensed timeframe – be able to fix his or her lack of planning
Excellent opportunity for right person. – 100% of non-masochists are not the right person