A man and a woman,

sit at a bar,

and their conversation,

turns to sex.

And as the two begin to discuss the subject,

their talk turns to boasting.

“I’ve had anal sex,” says he.

“I swallow sperm,” she retorts.

To that he responds,

“I fucked a girl and her mother.”

“At the same time?” she asks.

“I’ve screwed a grandfather,” she says.

And he says,

“Well, I nailed a PhD.”

“I screwed two of my Professors in Community college.”

“I’ve had sex in twelve of these United States.”

“I did it in three different countries.”

“I fucked thirty guys.”

“At the same time?”

“Over ten years.”

“Three a year isn’t bad.”

“I have thunderous orgasms that wake the neighbors.”

“I shoot lightning out of my cock.”

“I can make a man cum by glancing at his cock.”

“My cock has slain fifty cunts!”

“My cunt has devoured a hundred cocks!”

“My dick would leave your pitiful pussy exhausted and spent then come back to this bar sniffing around for more!”

And when it came time,

for these two,

to get it on,

their performances were marred,

by softness and dryness.