On the corner of Rosecrans and Midway,
I sat in the passenger seat,
of a Geo Prism,
and stared at a man,
standing on the corner,
holding a sign that read,
“Diamond Wholesalers Half Off!”

And at that particular moment in time,
“standing advertisment,”
was this man’s contribution to the universe.

I stared at him long and hard.

And after my thought reached its conclusion,
I looked at Dave and said,
“Dave,
I want you to do me a favor.
If you ever see me holding a sign,
on the side of the road,
I want you to shoot me.
I’m giving you permission now because,
if it ever occurs that I am holding a sign,
on the corner of Rosecrans and Midway,
and my place in this world,
could be easily filled,
by a wooden post,
I will have obviously lost my mind,
and it will be your duty as my friend,
to shoot me.”

“Ok” he said back

Then I continued,

“Dave, I want you to know
that when you aim the gun at me,
I’ll beg for my life.
But,
I don’t want you to listen to me,
because I will be crazy.
Disregard my begging and pleading.
Disregard my explanations.
Please Dave,
go ahead and shoot me.
I'm telling you this now,
because I feel as though I am sane,
and can make a decent decision regarding the matter.
But,
once I've donned a sign,
'Diamond Wholesalers-half off'
or
'Rubio’s Fish Tacos: 99 cents'
or whatever,
and I’ve danced around like this gentleman I see before me,
I will be beyond any concept of rationality,
and will need to be shot."

"Ok" Dave said again.